20 Ways to Amuse Yourself on a Bad Day, Mom

1. Change your online screen name from "ProudMomOfThree" to "NeedsAVacation."
   
   
2. Make pancakes in the shape of those really nice Jimmy Choo's you used to wear before you had kids.
   
   
3. Answer the phone, "The Center for Sleep Deprivation. Can I help ...ZZZZ."
   
   
4. Drink your coffee from your son's sippy cup.
   
   
5. Drink your son's juice from your coffee mug.
   
   
6. When the Music for Tots teacher smiles and sings gaily, "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands," examine your fingernails and yawn.
   
   
7. Put a tip jar out at snack time.
   
   
8. Affix a smiley face sticker to your forehead, because frankly, it's the only smile that's been on your face all day.
   
   
9. Ask the bank teller for the exchange rate on Chuck E. Cheese tokens.
   
   
10. Give the wrong answers while watching "Blues Clues" to try to throw that cartoon canine off.
    
    
11. Pretend your kid's Rockin' Elmo is singing Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy Train" to Thomas the Tank Engine. Then hold up a lighter until he plays an encore.
    
    
12. Invite another mom for a play date - with you.
    
    
13. Put a bumper sticker on your mini-van that reads, "My other car is a Barbie Corvette."
    
    
14. Tell the kids that Santa has hired you to write his "Naughty" list this year.
    
    
15. When the neighborhood stroller brigade - each moms of one kid - invite you and your triplets for a "brisk walk," tell them your stroller is in the shop.
    
    
16. Send your kids to your in-laws' house with toy whistles in their pockets.
    
    
17. Sneak a cookie before dinner. Or two. Or the entire bag of Mint Milanos and what's left of the milk.
    
    
18. Tie the ends of a baby blanket around your neck and claim to be able to leap tall diaper pails in a single bound.
    
    
19. When your child refuses to take her evening bath, go ahead and take it yourself.
    
    
20. At your baby's 2 a.m. feeding, announce to your sleeping husband through the baby monitor, "Flight 201 to Fiji is now boarding."