Once Upon a Time
by Lisa Barker
“Are you a princess, Momma?” That’s what my youngest
asked me the other day because I was wearing a skirt I
bought to celebrate my weight-loss. He’s now my
favorite child.
He’s also pretty bright. Surely he must recognize the
pattern of the skirt is one that dates back to
medieval times. Maybe I really am a princess. Skirt
or not, I’ve been a princess once before in the eyes
of my other son when he was a toddler.
This celebration of the “middle ages” can be a real
ego boost to a parent. It’s a time when a girl
worships her father, the hero, and a boy places his
mother on a pedestal so high…the thin air can go
straight to her head.
Naturally, I tried to fish for more comments from my
son. “Why do you think Momma is a princess, honey?”
“Because you have a pretty skirt…and I have pickles in
my tummy.”
Okay, so maybe he’s so bright we can’t quite follow
his logic. I’m just going to pretend it all makes
sense. After all, I am living a fairytale come true.
Not only did I marry a rather charming prince of a guy
but I also have several dwarves that I look after and
they can, at anytime, be easily identified as Hungry,
Sleepy, Cranky, Whiney and Who-me.
Many is the time that I have cooked and cleaned and
scoured and worked my fingers to the bone just to
start all over again because the evil step-sisters
(the roles played by my children) seem to think this
is what I was put on this earth to do.
And how long do their noses have to grow before they
realize I can see right through their fibs?
Sometimes, no matter how much I love my kiddos and
kiss them up, they can be real toads.
Is there a happy ending? Of course, there is and it
doesn’t involve me taking them into the woods and
leaving them there, hoping they haven’t left a trail
of breadcrumbs that they can follow back home.
The kids won’t be like this forever. They’re going to
grow up and one day they will be keeping their own
castles and chasing their own dwarves.
And I will be the Queen Grandmother overseeing the
fruits of my labor…and the curse I placed on my
children when they were young and causing me
grief…when I wished for them to grow up and have
children that behave just like they do.
Oh, I can’t wait to see it! No doubt it will be a
happy ending for me.
“Grandkids, grandkids, short and tall, who's the
fairest of us all?”
“Why you, Queen Grandma, because you have a pretty
skirt…and we have pickles in our tummies.”
About the Author: Jelly Mom™ is written by Lisa Barker and syndicated through Martin-Ola Press /Parent To Parent and is available for newspapers, websites, e-zines and
newsletters. For more information and details, please
contact editor@parenttoparent.com
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