Hip Mom Rule #8: You Need Real Down Time

I have always believed that exhaustion makes everything seem worse, and when you're exhausted, the last thing you have the energy for is making time for yourself to relax. You work harder and harder to meet the demands of your children, your husband, your family, his family, friends, social obligations, school obligations, work obligations, obligations galore! We get so exhausted from stretching ourselves so thin that we often neglect time for the most important person.

After the birth of my second baby, I found myself resembling an exhausted mom more than a hip mom. My husband, being very astute (and a little tired of my grumping), determined that what I needed was a little time away from the family. "He's exactly right!" I thought to myself as I envisioned myself taking a weekend or even just a day away to shop, have dinner at a hip "no kiddies allowed" restaurant, and not have to answer a single "What are you doing, Mom?" question. "That would be wonderful!" I replied to him. "I could really use a little time away."

"Okay, I'll watch the kids tonight so you can go to the grocery store by youself for once -- totally unencumbered by the kids," he generously proposed.

Um, what? The grocery store by myself? Not exactly what I had envisioned, but I did take him up on his kind offer. As I walked the aisles crossing things off my list, I realized that I REALLY needed a break, and running errands without the kids just didn't count.

So, I planned an afternoon away. I left the kids with my husband. I wore one of my favorite shirts, pulled from the "don't let the children touch" clothes. I spent an hour in the car, listening to hip mom music, not Veggie Tales. I splurged on a mini-shopping spree in a store that generally frowns at me when I walk in with two kids. I enjoyed a non-rushed supper (where I didn't have to tip 30% to compensate the mess my kids had left the wait staff). Then I drove home and reflected on what it was that was making me feel so wonderful at that exact moment. It wasn't that I had left my children and my husband behind. It was that I had been able to spend some quality time with somebody else that I really like but hadn't had time for lately -- myself!

Motherhood can be a drain on your relationships because there just ins't enough of you to go around. But, if you take time to meet up with your hip self now and then, you just might find yourself with more energy for others, too.


About the Author: Heidi Burns is a freelance writer, editor, and adjunct faculty member. She earned an M.A. from Iowa State University in 2002 and has since married, lived in three states, had two children, and adjuncted for four different colleges. Free time is elusive to her, but if she ever did find a spare moment, she would most likely take a long, uninterrupted nap. For more information and details, please contact Heidi A. Burns.