Allison in Motherland: The Age of Reason?
by Allison Braswell
From the second our precious child enters this world screaming as it emerges
from the comfy cocoon that is its mother’s womb, we as parents begin to understand
that a child’s emotion defies all human and adult logic. Of course we know everything
will be okay (for the most part), but try telling that to a newborn screaming
its head off. You may be thinking a tiny baby it isn’t capable of our level
of understanding. Well, I’m here to tell you it only gets worse as the child
gets older.
Take arguing for instance, my daughter, Elise age 5, and my son, Jack age 3
½, argue about anything and everything. Their latest argument is who
is going to be first. Whether it’s the first one into or out
of the car, the first bike rider on our walks, or the first
one leading the shopping cart in the store, no issue is off limits. I try to
tell them it doesn’t matter who is first, but I might as well be talking
Chinese for all they care. Sometimes I have to stop myself to make sure I’m
really talking aloud. My son Jack is the worst, picture this: Mom pushing a
shopping cart through Target, youngest son riding in the seat provided, older
two children strolling alongside. Son darts out ahead of cart and says, “I’m
first!” At this point, he’s not only competing with his sister but his mother
as well. As the mother nonchalantly walks about the store browsing at merchandise,
son is having a breakdown because mom has pulled into the lead. Son runs to
beat cart screaming “I’M FIRST!!” the cycle continuing throughout the store.
Now as a mature, logically thinking adult, you’d think I’d be able to help my
child understand that the check out is not an actual finish line. There won’t
be a crowd cheering or a gold medal at the end. And really, I think he’d be
scared to death if there was. So why must he continue thinking every time we
go to the store he is about to embark on the race of his life?
Yet another instance (I’ve got a million of these!) Tommy, my 1 ½ year
old, loves to agitate Jack. Again you’d think this young child could not possibly
grasp at his age how to irritate his brother. I thought the very same thing.
However, all the while he sat in his little bouncy seat as a baby he was watching
his brother and sister, taking mental notes in sibling irritation and manipulation.
And believe me, he has mastered the skill. Jack loves to sit on the couch and
watch cartoons in the morning. He is content and quiet until Tommy comes along.
Tommy will plop himself down so he’s touching him ever so slightly. If that
doesn’t produce the intended outcome, he then lays his leg over his Jack’s lap.
This causes Jack to scream and holler, allowing Tommy to go in for the “kill.”
He will then drape his entire body over his intended target (his brother) not
letting up until Mom comes to the rescue.
After two months of seemingly endless fighting, I am learning to let the kids
exercise their own common sense and fix things without mom and dad intervening.
I can’t say it has improved quite yet, but hopefully by the time they’re adults
they won’t be racing their kids through the store.
About the Author: Allison Braswell lives in Mankato Minnesota with her
husband Ben and four children: Elise, Jack, Tommy, and Sam. She received her
Bachelor’s Degree in English from Minnesota State University and has been an
at-home mom since the birth of her second child. In her free time she enjoys
reading, spending time with her family, and long walks (alone) around the neighborhood,
since there are no beaches in Mankato.
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