Allison in
Motherland: The Age of Reason?
by
Allison Braswell
From the second our precious child enters this world screaming as it emerges
from the comfy cocoon that is its mother’s womb, we as parents begin to
understand that a child’s emotion defies all human and adult logic. Of
course we know everything will be okay (for the most part), but try telling that
to a newborn screaming its head off. You may be thinking a tiny baby it
isn’t capable of our level of understanding. Well, I’m here to tell
you it only gets worse as the child gets older.
Take arguing for instance, my daughter, Elise age 5, and my son, Jack age 3
½, argue about anything and everything. Their latest argument is who is
going to be first. Whether it’s the first one into or out
of the car, the first bike rider on our walks, or the first one
leading the shopping cart in the store, no issue is off limits. I try to
tell them it doesn’t matter who is first, but I might as well be
talking Chinese for all they care. Sometimes I have to stop myself to make sure
I’m really talking aloud. My son Jack is the worst, picture this: Mom
pushing a shopping cart through Target, youngest son riding in the seat
provided, older two children strolling alongside. Son darts out ahead of
cart and says, “I’m first!” At this point, he’s not only
competing with his sister but his mother as well. As the mother
nonchalantly walks about the store browsing at merchandise, son is having a
breakdown because mom has pulled into the lead. Son runs to beat cart
screaming “I’M FIRST!!” the cycle continuing throughout the
store. Now as a mature, logically thinking adult, you’d think I’d be
able to help my child understand that the check out is not an actual finish
line. There won’t be a crowd cheering or a gold medal at the
end. And really, I think he’d be scared to death if there was. So
why must he continue thinking every time we go to the store he is about to
embark on the race of his life?
Yet another instance (I’ve got a million of these!) Tommy, my 1 ½ year
old, loves to agitate Jack. Again you’d think this young child could not
possibly grasp at his age how to irritate his brother. I thought the
very same thing. However, all the while he sat in his little bouncy seat
as a baby he was watching his brother and sister, taking mental notes in sibling
irritation and manipulation. And believe me, he has mastered the
skill. Jack loves to sit on the couch and watch cartoons in the
morning. He is content and quiet until Tommy comes along. Tommy will
plop himself down so he’s touching him ever so slightly. If that doesn’t
produce the intended outcome, he then lays his leg over his Jack’s lap. This
causes Jack to scream and holler, allowing Tommy to go in for the “kill.”
He will then drape his entire body over his intended target (his brother) not
letting up until Mom comes to the rescue.
After two months of seemingly endless fighting, I am learning to let the kids
exercise their own common sense and fix things without mom and dad
intervening. I can’t say it has improved quite yet, but hopefully by the
time they’re adults they won’t be racing their kids through the store.
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