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Articles | Allison in Motherland
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Allison in Motherland: Imaginary Friend... or Foe?
by Allison Braswell
I’ve read (in all the parental studying I do in my spare time) imaginary friends are a very positive way for children to express their creativity and imagination. As parents we must encourage this stage of development in our children. But could there be a darker side to that little friend lurking inside so many of our children’s minds? My four year old daughter, Elise, has four “friends” who have come to live and play with her in the last year and a half. There really is no rhyme or reason for their appearances, but then again I haven’t been able to make much sense of anything my kids do.
Filo (I’m hoping I have spelled her name correctly as I have never asked her myself) was the first of Elise’s little companions. Filo could drive a car and could often be seen riding alongside us as we drove. She would also provide much needed companionship for Elise while playing with Barbies or the girlie things in which her little brother did not want to participate. The harmlessness of this relationship began to take a turn when Filo started keeping Elise up at night. Elise would come down the stairs and say she was trying so hard to sleep, but "That Darn Filo" kept bugging her. I really had no idea how to explain to this invisible little person to leave my poor child alone! Months passed and Filo’s name would come up every so often in addition three new friends; Jessica, not to be confused with Jessie, and Kayla. Let me tell you, there’s no lack of estrogen in this house!
One day I decided to interview Elise questioning just who these young ladies are and why they’re here. My first question was obvious: “Where did you find these friends?” Her answer: “They were born with other parents and decided to live with us.” From past conversations I have found these “imaginary parents” let their children do all the naughty things we do not allow Elise to do. For example: swear, make messes without cleaning up, and drink juice at bedtime to name a few. Below are the profiles of these imaginary friends as told by Elise to me, her mother:
| Filo |
Jessica |
Jessie |
Kayla |
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6 years old and in 1st grade
Wears a striped shirt and pink pants
Wears a hat and slippers to bed every night
Has purple hair
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4 years old and a preschooler Elise's school
Wears a pink shirt, blue pants and slippers
Drinks juice at bedtime
Has a magic wand and turns people “into things”
Has a red ponytail and just happened to move in right next door to us
Has a dog and cat but no baby
Drives a car and eats snacks for supper
Says bad words because she repeats what her mom says (where did she get that?)
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5 years old and in Kindergarten
Wears a light purple shirt and light blue pants
Also lives right by us
Her grandma used to have a cane
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No age or grade specified
Has pink hair
Takes care of all the babies she has -- totaling 100!
Changes poopy diapers
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The next time your child introduces you to his or her imaginary friend, I encourage you to get to know this little person. They may be not only your child’s best friend, but also your worst enemy.
About the Author: Allison Braswell lives in Mankato Minnesota with her husband Ben and four children: Elise, Jack, Tommy, and Sam. She received her Bachelor’s Degree in English from Minnesota State University and has been an at-home mom since the birth of her second child. In her free time she enjoys reading, spending time with her family, and long walks (alone) around the neighborhood, since there are no beaches in Mankato.
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